That is the question that my wife and I have been contemplating since we first found out that we are going to become parents for the first time. Quick backstory. I have a friend that I work with that just lost his baby at about 10-11 weeks pregnant. It was very sad to see and to listen to the people at work talk about it and feel sad and the awkwardness that was felt when others would see him. Things happen.
Being an older soon to be dad I have had opportunities to understand and learn that there are a lot of things that can go on (wrong) during pregnancy. The vast majority of miscarriages happen in the first 12 weeks and all that…I do not want to have people come up to me or Andrea and ask about a baby that we lost. If theoretically there was something that was going to happen. Ahhhhh! The Handbook!
I have paged through that whole dang handbook and there is nothing about when to tell the rest of the world that you are going to have a baby. I looked and looked…breastfeeding, what medicine you can use, etc… Nothing about when the best time is to talk to the rest of the family.
Now, we have told some folks that we are going to be expecting. Andrea’s mom and dad know…my mom and stepdad know…her boss…and one of her aunties knows too…we are slowly starting to let others know. It is overwhelming to share such news with others.
Yesterday was a great step (the first high-tech scan), knowing that everything was in the normal parameters and that the vitals are great and healthy. But….there are so many things that can/could/might go wrong. Deep breath. OK, I feel a lot better after having gotten this stuff out and written down. It makes me feel a whole lot better.
The plan. We are not going to make any sort of Facebook posts or Twitter tweets or anything like that until after the 12th week. We are going to tell those that are super close with the understanding that we are not really telling anyone right now and we want to wait until after 12 weeks and we know that everything is viable and good to go. As good to go as we can ever know, anyway.
I will continue writing as I have found that the rewards for sharing this stuff is a great release and I feel I have learned new stuff. Thanks all.
Dadhood 
fyi…i am not from Florida…although I do work for a school district
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We told our parents pretty much right away, but everyone else we waited until around week 13-14. I can only imagine how horrible it must be having to tell everyone the sad news of a miscarriage, and reliving it every time.
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It has been hard to watch…i work at an elementary school and it is a predominatly female staff. 5 males in the whole building. There have been some difficult conversations and some really insensitive ones too. Sharing how horrible it was/is and saying things like you will never forget and it will always be something you remember…all while kinda yelling at him…PTSD style. Not cool.
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Poor guy. My heart goes out to him.
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Been wondering about this too but I was so freakin excited I ended up telling my family and her family and then the facebook posts came and now voila…it’s all out there!
If things go wrong, i pray not, I’ll just handle it like a man and say it’s ok. Remain stoic in public and avoid the awkwardness. If that does happen, I’ll know better for next time. Congrats to you.
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Congrats man! Ya, it is a super hard thing to keep quiet. I want to scream and shout about it, but taking it safe. We of course have told parents and a few close friends, but we have not told work or the extended network of friends yet. The response has been overwhelmingly awesome when we have shared though…so that is awesome.
Congrats again!
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